Conspiracy on Toast

“Don’t get it twisted, and open your eyes for God’s sake.”

The Creative Exchange

“Sorry?”

“Look… I’m not trying to scare you, or anything like that… it’s just that well… this is important.”

“What’s important? Sorry I’m running a little late if you could just…”

“Look man, you’ve got to open your eyes and your mind! The government is lying to us, the media is lying to us, the Coronavirus isn’t actually real, it’s just a ploy by those in power to control us… to keep us indoors, so it’s easier to keep us under surveillance.”

“I umm…”

“Seriously man, we’ve got to open our eyes to what’s really happening in this world. I was watching these videos on YouTube the other day and they completely blew my mind. The Coronavirus is just a mechanism for the government to control our behavioural habits. Think about it, every day the media is saying that thousands of people are being infected, but how many people do you know that have actually gotten sick? I’m telling you man, it’s just a way for them to control our civil liberties.”

“I don’t think that’s…”

“…And don’t even get me started on 5G! They say it’s some ‘innovation in cellular networks’, but trust me it’s not! It’s just another way for them to control even more parts of our lives and keep us all under surveillance. Have you ever seen those tiny antennas that sit on top of those so-called speed cameras on every road? They’re literally just transmitting videos and photos of us straight to these 5G towers, which then directly send our private information to the CCP or Russia. It’s a totally messed up invasion of our privacy man!”

“Look… I appreciate your advice and all but I just…”

“…And another thing, have you noticed recently that there are less exotic birds around?”

“I…”

“Why do you think that is? Actually… let me explain with another question. Have you noticed that there have been more and more pigeons around as of late? Why do you think that is?”

“Look, I…”

“It’s because they’re not actually pigeons! They’re actually AI-controlled drones used by the government to spy on us around the clock. I was watching this video on YouTube last night actually, and the guy in the video noticed that these pigeons had lumpy patches behind their heads. They were batteries! Honestly, I’m getting dizzy even thinking about how much of my private life is being sold to those CCP and Russian spies!”

“Look, I just want…”

“You should really check out this movie called 1984 if you ever get the chance. It’s not that well known, I think it used to be a book or something… but some of the concepts they discuss in the movie are so real. Pay attention to when they start talking about the ‘thought police’, it’ll blow your mind!”

“Look! Please… I just wanted to order a sandwich. I’m already late for class, can you make me one or not?”